Poetry: Poem about my bottom

Sep 4, 2013

Poem about my bottom.

I can’t stand today. 

I’m packing to go away.
To a place that is new and exotic.

Don’t get me wrong, 
I was having fun.
Until I tried on my favourite outfit.

See It’s been a little while
since i’ve flown a pretty mile.
And I guess I’ve got porky since then.

My clothes do not fit,
Unless I struggle for a bit
But just breathing it in won’t help me.

I swear they’ve just shrunk,
No it can’t be the junk
I’ve been eating all over the winter.

I counted the numbers 
And ate some cucumbers.
I can’t let it be my mistake.

People compliment my arse
and that can’t be a farce (right?)
No I can’t have gained extra, I just can’t.

If I’d have know that my snacks
Would have stopped my tracks,
When preparing my outfits for holiday.

I would have thought a little more
about opening that door
And letting those biscuits fly in. 

I want to take it back
I can’t stand this bottom fat.
But I guess I’ll have to welcome it home.

You see, I do love my clothes,
But as my bottom grows
They’ll just have to move up a new size.

I can’t help gobble up
I just can get enough.
Biscuits are delicious and I don’t care who knows it.

I’ve put on a few inches
But I’ve tried my butt clenches.
So I guess I’m just staying this way.

So put your eyes forward,
Unless you want to be tortured.
Because my backside is here to stay.

Druid Georgi

My name's Georgi. I'm all about stories, nature and not being a horrible person. Grab a coffee, scroll around and laugh at my expense. My life motto is, 'Imagine if I'd done tried or whatever.'