Woah, woah, woah! Two posts in one day! Calm down! Nobody cares…
I work for a well-known chain of bookshops. So all day I get to talk about books but the discussions are not what you might think. Rarely do I get to talk about the beautiful simplicity of Murakami or the just pure awesomeness of Neil Gaiman. No. My conversations about books usually go something like this:
Customer: Hello tiny shop employee I’m important and impatient and I need you to decipher my vague description of a book I heard about on some vague media platform.
Me: Okay, one second please, I’ll just search my database. *clatter clatter on keyboard* Hmm, hmmm…
Customer: Hummph hummph. *Checks watch*
Me: Bare with me please. I’m just trying to work up the energy to perform an ambiguous google search before I tell you that I can’t find anything.
Customer: No problem, tiny shop employee. Though it’s quite simple really, I don’t understand why you didn’t see the same media review as I did and take precise notes so that when I come into your shop for this specific request you are ready and waiting with a plethora of books for me to peruse. I thought you people live for books.
Me: Yes, you are right. I’m the moron here. *Points at screen with a concerned face.* Hmmm, well it looks like your book is only available in some other reality where you were able to take a note of the author, title or ISBN number and I could do my actual job.
Customer: I see. I’ll check Amazon when I get home. *Strides away.*
Me: *Noms on sweeties as a reward for not using profanities.*
I’d love to say that I’d exaggerating but I’m not. Obviously not everybody is like this. Most people are sensible but those few who aren’t. Ohh, ohh boy, they really get on my nerves.