Leave a whole day unplanned
I think this task applies to people who are the busy type. I am not the busy type. My days are usually unplanned and I kind of just stumble on a project I’ve completely forgotten about or I’m working on something pretty solidly. That’s just the way my life is currently. Obviously there are sometimes days that are planned. I don’t like planning. Some people excel at planning their lives and the lives’ of people around them. I like these people. They make my life a little easier. Gaah, that makes me sound really lazy. I’m not, well I am… But planning things, especially things that are really far away, panic me an unreasonable amount. When I know I’ve got to be somewhere/do something that’s not part of my normal scrambled up day, I start to fluster. It’s something I’ve definitely got worse at over the past few years too. Commitment scares the shit out of me.
This is bad.
I need to not do this. It means that I’m liable to let people down a lot and I really hate doing that. That’s a trigger for my black dog. (not the literal one that sits on me when I read or tries to share my tea but that metaphorical one that fucks up my life.)
So yeah flaking on plans is a part of my personality that I’m not overly proud of and it’s also something I am not great at trying to change. Anyway, I’m getting away from the point. For me, leaving a whole day unplanned gives me (in theory) a whole day anxiety free, or at least a day with one less thing to freak out about. So that’s nice.
Actually this flows quite nicely to day 26
Identify your stress triggers
The act of making plans is definitely one of them.
Another would be people. Not people I know but strangers.
Like currently I’m on a train. It’s quiet but a group of boys (BOYZ BOYZ LADZ BOYZ) chose to sit next to me and around me. They are loud and inappropriate. Not towards me. It’s still stressful. And sadly a common occurrence and sometimes there are comments or whatever directed at me. No one wants this when they leave the house and are just trying to do stuff. So yeah. Stress trigger… People, mostly groups of men.
Stress trigger number 3. Being short on time or generally late for things.
In the mornings, I tend to set my alarm clock for two hours before I have to be anywhere. Just in case. And then when I drive anywhere I give myself a half hour buffer. What happens if I don’t? I usually just start to panic. A lot. My heart beats really fast, I get really really hot, start picking at my nails. I don’t know what I think will happen if I’m late. But it always feels like the world will fall apart.
Stress trigger number 4. When anyone says to me, “so what do you do?” “What do you want to be?” “What’s your life goal?” You know those types of questions. When I am faced with these questions my brain kind of explodes in screams, sirens, fingernails on chalkboard, someone creepy breathing down your neck. Just a big horrible mess up in here.
I guess I’m supposed to be thinking of solutions or aids to help these stress triggers. Kind of like how I set my alarm for ages before so I’m never late, even though I’m still late for most things…
So I have requests to make:
To groups of lads. GIVE ME SOME FUCKING RESPECT. I do not want to hear about your sexual escapades. If you’re gunna sit around someone acknowledge their presence pleeeeease! Uh!
2. To people who do small talk. Please don’t. I don’t like it. The future scares me and I’m living in denial so please, again, respect that.
Okay so. Umm. So I think the aim of this task is to offer perspective on stuff that makes you stressed in the hopes that you will be less stressed because of it.
Nopey nope nope nope. Not yet anyway. I should think more about some more rational solutions to my stress triggers.