Poetry: Poem about my bottom

Druid Georgi -

Poem about my bottom.

I can’t stand today. 

I’m packing to go away.
To a place that is new and exotic.

Don’t get me wrong, 
I was having fun.
Until I tried on my favourite outfit.

See It’s been a little while
since i’ve flown a pretty mile.
And I guess I’ve got porky since then.

My clothes do not fit,
Unless I struggle for a bit
But just breathing it in won’t help me.

I swear they’ve just shrunk,
No it can’t be the junk
I’ve been eating all over the winter.

I counted the numbers 
And ate some cucumbers.
I can’t let it be my mistake.

People compliment my arse
and that can’t be a farce (right?)
No I can’t have gained extra, I just can’t.

If I’d have know that my snacks
Would have stopped my tracks,
When preparing my outfits for holiday.

I would have thought a little more
about opening that door
And letting those biscuits fly in. 

I want to take it back
I can’t stand this bottom fat.
But I guess I’ll have to welcome it home.

You see, I do love my clothes,
But as my bottom grows
They’ll just have to move up a new size.

I can’t help gobble up
I just can get enough.
Biscuits are delicious and I don’t care who knows it.

I’ve put on a few inches
But I’ve tried my butt clenches.
So I guess I’m just staying this way.

So put your eyes forward,
Unless you want to be tortured.
Because my backside is here to stay.