Fantasy and Reality


I am so sorry that I have hurt you. I understand that when I told you to just “get over” your mental illness this made you very upset and you told me you hated me. I will try not to offend you or resort to childish insults of an illness I clearly do not understand. I can understand why it might be difficult for you to see me when I have scarred you so deeply.

I cannot even begin to apologise for my actions over the past few years. I can only say that now I speak of with great humility and sorrow for the pain I have caused to you and to the rest of the family.

I am also sorry that when I called you up on your birthday I immediately asked the awkward question of graduation, and expected a full and loving invitation despite not having participated actively in any other part of your university life, except for financial support. I know that money is not the most important thing to you and it definitely isn’t to me. I know now that what was important was that I knew you were having the best time at university and that I did everything I could to make sure you were safe and happy.

I am sorry I didn’t do this and that I’ve missed out on getting to know you and what you do throughout these years of your life. I know that this is something I can never make up to you.

I also understand and am not blind to the awkwardness that may arise on your graduation if both your mother and I were to attend and want nothing else but for you to be happy on your big day. So, I understand why I do not get an invitation but wish you the best of luck on your special day. I expect to see lots of photographs and we can celebrate another time.

I know I have been an absent father for many years, however, I do hope that I can make it up to you. I respect your wish not to come over to my house and will not push the idea further because I know how much it upsets you. When you are ready to forgive me, I will be where ever you are.

Please know that I will always put you above my own selfish needs because you are the only daughter I have. I will try harder not to hurt you anymore, and will put all my efforts into mending the relationship that I have single-handedly shattered. Starting from now.

I am so proud of you, I only wish you a bright and happy future.



I was shocked to hear you say on the telephone the other day that you do not want to see me or to speak with me again and previously that you hate me.

I am also upset to find out that I have not been invited to your graduation ceremony despite having paid all of your university fees and accommodation cost but more importantly because I am your dad.

If you want to behave in such a child like manner that is up to you. You know where I am and will always welcome you to come and see me or to call at any time.

I am however not prepared to carry on giving you an allowance each month until you grow up. I have stopped your rental sum from today and will stop any further payments from next month.



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